I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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