I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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