with your own penis?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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