I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
