When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
