belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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