Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
