she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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