WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
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MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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