Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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