I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
