Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
