Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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