3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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