I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
