You're so nebulous sometimes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
