She went from zero to smokin in five shots
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
