The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
