Don't make out with my wife yet
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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