I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
