pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
