watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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