I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
