Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ttyl tear gas
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
