she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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