I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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