Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
