I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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