When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
