Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
