His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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