lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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