I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize