Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this just has baby written all over it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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