Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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