I feel like I'm in dance class right now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
