I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im holly from the hills drunk
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
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I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
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Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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