I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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