i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
