you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
