this beer tastes like vomit already
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize