hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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