yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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