Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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