p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
