how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
