I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize