so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize