He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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