Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
