was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And then the night went full on bisexual.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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