Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Couch. On fire.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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