I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
