I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
