Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
