He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
