i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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