he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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