I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
