holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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