Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
