it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
