a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
